Lessons we learn from our children

Oh today was a glorious day, the sun shined, the sky was blue and I took myself and my big girl camera off to see some tulips. I spent two hours absorbed in beautiful flowers, and colours, and smells....I also made sure to send my sister lots of photos whilst she prepares for winter down in the Southern Hemisphere. When my phone chirruped at me, I thought it was her again telling me she hates me with all my tulips; it was however, one of Miss Mouse's friend's mom. This friend visits us every Monday after school to play, have dinner and then the two of them go off to Girl Guides. But today she wasn't coming. She had had a playdate with Miss Mouse's bestie over the weekend, and said bestie got caught up on the moment and felt it was very important to tell this girl all the bad things Miss Mouse might've said about her. This friend's mom was very mad. Bang! went my day as immediately I had awful flashbacks to my school days and being ganged up on - oh these tween years are just a nightmare. My stomach was in knots and I felt miserable for my girl.
I went in to fetch Miss Mouse from school with such trepidation. Angry Mom was there, she avoided me and left swift after I arrived...and Miss Mouse came skipping up to me completely carefree. Nothing had happened. No words had been said, she was oblivious. And I had to break it to her.
She was devastated for two reasons.
1. Her bestie had gone behind her back
2. She knows she didn't really mean what she said, and hurting this girl was not something she would want to do.
We found angry mom and her daughter in the carpark, and Miss Mouse immediately apologised, they hugged and giggled and tonight they spent the evening at Girl Guides happily with each other.
It's done....for them at least.....for the two moms involved, not so much. I can see this other mom is angry, and she is the most placid, lovely, kind lady...so for her to get in touch with such a direct message to me today tells me this has hurt her. And for that I am so sorry. If the roles were reversed I would be the Angry Mom. I avoid confrontation like the plague, but if my kids are involved then I will come at you like a lioness on steroids. I am hoping this mom will see that her daughter has forgiven Miss Mouse, and she can too.

Mr. A took the stance of "if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all", and to a degree I completely agree with him, but it is so easy to get caught in a moment. You are chatting with your friends and bring up a third party and sometimes things get said. I am not sure there is one person on this earth who can stand up and say they have never said hurtful things behind someone's back.
It happens, and then sometimes you are called out for it. And I think this is where your true colours show, because if you should take responsibility, and say "Yes, I said it, and this is why" and live with the consequences. And this is what my sweet girl did. She went straight over, said sorry and asked to be forgiven. We don't know what was said, but is it actually worth finding out all those nitty gritty 'he said, she said'? I don't condone Miss Mouse's behaviour with her bestie in the first place, gossiping and spitefulness are not traits I wish to cultivate, but I am damn proud of her for how she handled it....I think she might've just taught me a lesson today.

because sometimes...

A while ago, quite a long while ago, I wrote about depression.

I told you I took the step to admit I was not coping and that I needed help.

And then slowly I got better.

After having Baby Mouse, I knew to look out for the signs of PND, I was able to help myself before I got to the very bottom that I did last time. 

But, my baby is over a year old now and I still rely on my little tablet every morning.

A while ago I thought I was okay, and came off them, but boy did I get knocked off my feet, so I take them again.

I am not ashamed to talk about my depression, but honestly I don't really like to.

"Hi, I'm Nola and I'm on anti-depressants" is hardly a conversation starter.

I am not sure why it has been harder this time round, but I do know so much of it is to do with my mind and soul. The hormones I can control chemically, which doesn't thrill me but that works for now...but my mind..mmm, only I am in charge of that. 

My lovely homeopath told me I have to constantly nurture myself, keep in touch with myself, stop supressing the negative emotions, but rather allow them out; explore them, deal with them and then release them. Easier said than done. But I try. 

And she told me to draw the goodness in. Breathe beautiful air. Meditate. Love. Enjoy living. Eat well. Exercise.Look in the mirror and enjoy me.

And surround myself with nurturing things.

Let the good far outweigh the bad.

And I told myself to stop overthinking and stop overanalysing and just be.

This has been my hardest task, as I am trying to undo a lifetime of habit.

I have found so much inspiration out there in other blogs. Others, like myself , who need some encouragement and some nurturing, and I have found amazing words of wisdom, and photographs and quotes. Like the one above, which is printed and stuck on my fridge. 

My good days are beginning to outnumber the bad days, and boy, that is a good sign.

And on days like today, when Mother Nature gave me a beautiful double rainbow to stare at, I know that that is all I need.

food for thought...

I read an article the other day, written by Keith Kendrick, and it has really struck a chord with me. He is quite harsh in what he says, but I applaud him because he is being brutally honest.

" Many years ago, when I was a teenager, I asked my mother a question. It was a challenging question because I was a challenging sort of boy, and my mother knew it. She also knew how to give as good as she got. My question was this: ‘If my dad and I were drowning, who would you choose to save?’ She didn’t hesitate in replying. ‘Your dad.’ I was completely taken aback by her answer, but I also didn’t believe her, until I asked her to explain why. "Because I chose your dad — I didn’t choose you,’ she said. ‘When you and your brothers have all fled the nest, got married, had kids and moved away, your dad will still be here for me." From that day forward, my mother’s logic stayed with me. But more than that, it made me believe in the power of love. Not the kind of love that a parent has for a child, but the kind of love that is chosen by two adults who want to share their lives together. It was hammered home with devastating force last year as I watched my dad caress his wife’s — my mother’s — hand the day before she died from Alzheimer’s disease " From: Daily Mail

Thoughts whilst running....

1. Do the ironing, and the dusting, and vacuuming....ARGH! Never ending bloody chores
(is the baby asleep yet?)

2. Should I make choc-chip cookies?

3. How should I celebrate my birthday?
(is the baby asleep yet?)

4. How many nappies are left in the cupboard?

5. Phone my parents
(is the baby asleep yet? Man running with a buggy is hard work!)

6. What sort of decorations should I make for the street party?

7. I must get back on THE Diet wagon - fell off spectacularly!
( GO TO SLEEP BABY, I AM DOING THIS FOR YOU....NOW GO TO SLEEP!)

So, what I did manage to do from that running to-do list :
Make choc-chip cookies....who needs a diet?
Phone my mom ....I have been a naughty child and not called for ages
Tidied Baby Mouse's cupboard....found loads of nappies *whew*
Made a trip to Hobbycraft - got Easter decorations instead of Royal Wedding street party ones
I vacuumed, dusted and washed the kitchen floor...the ironing can wait for another rainy day!

I am so in love.

I remember when Miss Mouse was born, I spent the first night just staring at her. I was stunned and amazed that I was a parent. That I had some part in creating this beautiful child. And she is perfect in every way.
I am overwhelmed by those feelings again. We have another beautiful baby girl. A miracle. A blessing. I am a mother to another child. It is a huge responsibility, but one which offers so many rewards. I already don't want her to grow, I just want to keep her small forever. My baby, my Du-du.

borrowing a Mother's Musings...

I am borrowing some musings from my lovely homeopath Taryn
She also has a little bub in her tummy and really made me stop and think about our baby again. I think I have just got so fed up with waiting and preoccupied with how uncomfortable I am, that I have stopped focussing on the all important things going on in my heart and soul.

So here is what Taryn had to say:
The term pregnant pause is used to describe a time of quiet, it is a pause filled with meaning - one in which expectant listeners wait for something significant or profound to be delivered. In a spiritual context it refers to a time of reflection, a time of looking back from where we have come, then collecting ourselves in the present in preparation for that which is to be birthed next in our lives

Our baby is due on Saturday, and I thought I was prepared, but I am not sure how prepared you ever can be. I have watched my belly grow, and grow, and grow......I have been fascinated in the moves our baby makes, how it loves to fit its bottom right into my sternum as if to say "hi mom, don't forget me, I'm here, I'm growing, and I'm coming soon!"

I am so used to being the mother on one, of being Scout's mom and like Taryn, that role has defined so much of my life in the last 4 years. I love being her mom, and would do anything for my child. I also mourned how our relationship is going to change; but what has overcome that, is the satisfaction that Scout and I are entering a new dynamic in our relationship. She is going to be the big sister, and I know she is going to love that. Knowing I have to share my time soon, means for now, in these last few precious days I am taking all these precious moments with her and storing them into my memory box.

I have gone through a myriad of emotions with this pregnancy, and now as I know our baby will be here soon I just have to breathe out, keep calm, and wait for it. I have to allow my body to take over now, the time for thinking and worrying is over. I am going to let myself be blanketed in my basic mothering instincts, and let those flow over my child and my husband.

A new life, and a new beginning...

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Elizabeth Stone

guilt on trial

I have just been reading a magazine article about the trappings of guilt, and this page in particular was headed "There is no such thing as a perfect family" - yes, I concur with that, we all have ideals of what a perfect family is and very often the reality and fantasy are two very different things. But this paragraph really sparked my grey mass:

We are all brought up - to a greater or lesser extent - to marshall our deepest feelings. We are taught as children to reign in our desires and difficult emotions, not to express our frustration in the face of disappointment, or our jealousy of others.

Looking back on my childhood, this is certainly in evidence. We were brought up to respect our parents, and elders; and were expected as children to be seen and not heard. Now there is nothing wrong with this school of thought per se. It worked brilliantly on my sisters....but not me. I have always been verbose in my emotions. It was never explained to me why I couldn't say the "wrong" thing or express an undesirable emotion. I was just told it was not allowed, and all I ever wanted was to know was why. In hindsight I think my parents did a good job parenting us. Sure as a teenager I would've loved a mom like my best friend's, who came out clubbing with us, but as an adult I really appreciate that my mom didn't. I like that as an adult I still have a healthy respect for them.

But what really made me think as I read this article is that right now Miss Mouse is at that tricky stage in her life where we are conditioning her emotions. No, she may not throw a temper tantrum, and no, she must not say she isn't someone's friend just because they won't play hide and seek with her. To an effect we are already guilting her with things like "it isn't kind to say you won't be her friend, it makes her sad and you don't want her to be sad do you?" And in effect all this makes me sad. We have to mould her to suit what is expected in society. If she throws a strop at the age of nearly four then eyebrows would be raised, and words like brat might float through the minds' on observers. But I don't think Mouse is a brat. I think she is spirited and strong-willed. And no, that is not me making a cop-out . I certainly don't have rose-tinted glasses on as far as her behaviour goes. I know she can be a complete rubbish at times. I think, much to Mr. A's dismay, that she is like me. She is expressive in her emotions. When she feels things, good and bad, you know all about it. And really, who are we to say that it is wrong? As her parents all we can do is guide her along, and just maybe temper her extremes, and I don't think telling her she is wrong, or unkind, or naughty is the way forward either...there is no perfect solution for parenting. I think each child is different and needs to be treated as such. I like that Mouse has the freedom to express her outrage, frustration, sadness....so what if these are "undesirable" emotions. They are her emotions, they belong to her and it is not for us to take them away, just maybe try and make her understand why she feels that way, and the repercussions those feelings have on those around her....but not yet. No, for now I am going to let her be a little girl, and I am going to let her feel....guilt free.

headaches and boredom

Our baby is really kicking up a fuss, and really giving me a hard time. I have spent the last two days either on the sofa, on the bathroom floor or in my doctor's office in floods of tears...I kid you not. I have been suffering from headaches since the first trimester, but just recently they have got really sore. Sadly this is all normal for pregnancy, and can happen, and sadly the strong meds I want to pop like smarties are a big no no! How poo!
Last night I got into bed just after Mouse, and settled down in all our pillows and leafed my way through the latest Red magazine - heaven.
I read an article that really struck a chord with me...and these headaches. All I can do for them is to take it easy (ha, ha and the Dr said this after he met Mouse!!! ha ha), but back to the article. It was about boredom. how we never allow ourselves to get bored - there is too much technology in our lives, and it stops us from just sitting...just mulling over things...just being bored....how true.
Today I took our bed linen out to the line ( I love clean sheets!!), and just stopped. The sky was blue, the sun was warm, the birds were singing and our chickaddees were clucking around my feet. It felt good, I took a big breath, and felt really blessed. This little baby of ours might really be giving me a hard time, but all he (or she) is doing is letting me know that he (or she) is growing and healthy and that is a very good, good thing.

a quiet, amazing moment.

our little baby also gave me a birthday present last night...
I saw her/him kick for the first time.
A neat little one just below my belly button!

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be.
James Matthew Barrie

a small gush...

so it is 07:38am and Mr. A has just phoned to say he can't come home yet because he is having an intriguing conversation with a homeless man....let me backtrack.

Last night was his leaving drinks with the boys here in Plymouth before he starts his promotion course next week ( Very proud of him!). I knew it would be a long one, and hoped not too messy. I spent a long time telling him the virtues of drinking water between his drinks...it seems for the first time he listened, as he called a little while ago to say he is fine, has had a great night and will be home as soon as he finishes chatting to a homeless man he has just met. Yip, that's my Mr. A.

I remember making a toast at his 21st birthday saying just that - he is as comfortable talking to a homeless person as he would be talking to the Queen of England. And I really love and admire him for that. I am afraid I do fall into the catagory of judging a book by it's cover easily, and time and again I have to admit I was wrong. I think this is what being in a partnership is about - you find the good things in each other and try to emulate it in yourself. As crazy a couple as we are, we work really well because we reflect each others good things.

I do so love my Mr. A.

The only problem with having my love month in the Northern Hemisphere...

Weather forecast for Plymouth

(what I suffer through)

Weather forecast for Petermaritzburg

(what my family suffer?!? through)

one guess where I'd rather be!

mY jOY:

MR. A IS DUE HOME FOUR WEEKS TODAY - YIPPEE YAY!!!!!!!

cjane blogs about blogging

there are blogs I follow meticulously. cjane's is one of them. Her humour is wacky, but she is real, and I think my mind follows the same erratic tangents as hers. Today she posted about blogging, and how she reacted to receiving a nasty comment.

Not so long ago I was in a similar situation. Something happened that I found so hurtful. And immediately I started fretting and obsessing. Until a wise owl told me to stop. Stop fretting, and stop obsessing. Funnily enough Mr. A has been trying to get the very same point of view across for years...but I don't think I was ready to really listen to him. But I am now. I did just stop, and I let it go and it has been so refreshing - a weight off my shoulders. I wish I could go back to my early-twenty-something self and offer her the same advice, because that girl was just floundering....but without the floundering I wouldn't be where, or who, I am today.

My point is this ( before it does get all melancholy ) : I am not going to let myself obsess over things that I should really just let go. At the end of the day we all have to grow up sometime right?

....except Mouse...she is never allowed to grow up....

(these were taken when she was eleven months old - so cute...so edible!!)

Don't burst my bubble...

childhood

This afternoon I was standing at my bedroom window watching the fresh snow falling down. I love watching snow falling...not so much the snow on the ground!
Mouse came in and wanted to know what I was looking at, and I picked her up and together we watched our garden turn white. It felt so good to cuddle my baby. Then I realised she is not such a baby anymore, in fact after about 10 minutes my arm was aching. She has grown so much, and in the blink of an eye. I love her so much, and yes, I am her mom so I am completely biased; but popular opinion with our friends is that she is a lovely, gorgeous little girl. We are blessed. My heart is sad because for us 2010 marks her starting big school. I know it will only be in September, but I don't think I am ready for that yet. I don't think I am ready to even contemplate letting her go. I constantly remind Mr. A that we have to make sure that we appreciate every second that we have with her. Childhood is all to short, and I want hers to be a special and memorable as possible.

There is a garden in every childhood,

an enchanted place where colors are brighter,

the air softer,

and the morning more fragrant than ever again.

~Elizabeth Lawrence

a review.

So another year draws to a close. I may get poo poo-ed for not getting into the New Years Spirit, but for me this is not a time to party, but a time of quiet reflection and contemplation. A time to add up the good, and learn from the bad. To feel nostalgic, to laugh on reflection; to look ahead and continue dreaming and planning.

The year has been rewarding, insightful, challenging, joyous, stressful and really just like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates. Sometimes we had a caramel chocolate - smooth times, coated in yumminess. Sometimes we had a fudge - sticky and hard to get through. Sometimes it was a chocolate orange - a treat on appearance but bitter inside. And sometimes it was praline - a time of heaven from beginning to end.

I found an inner strength, and failings when Mr A. was away for so long. I found out just how much I am in love with my child, and that I need her just as much as she needs me. Motherhood is truly a gift, and I constantly ask myself if I am doing the very best. Am I offering Mouse the best of who I am? And when I felt I was failing her, it took her placing her hand in mine and looking up at me with utter confidence to know I was doing okay in her eyes. Aren't our children just the most magnificent creatures?

I found out that I was utterly and devastatingly in love with my husband. I missed him so much. He is my best friend.

I found out that even though my family is so far away, that the distance meant nothing with all the love and support they gave me. It breaks my heart to be so far away, and I daydream often of what it will be like to step off the plane and know we are home for good.

I found out about my pseudo-family. The friends who gathered around and supported Mouse and me. They say you know who your friends are when you are in a crisis - it is true. Even Mouse's teachers were so kind. They could see when the mommy-nerves were frazzled, and kept Mouse a bit longer to give me a breather.

This year has been a time of new faces, and new places. We have settled into Plymouth even further and it feels like the closest we have ever had to being home. My life has been affected by the people who can seem invisible. Our postman with his lanky gait, our milkman with his ruddy cheeks. The ladies at playgroup, who merge into the ladies at Cake Club. The camaraderie in the waiting room for ballet lessons. And finally an NHS doctor I can trust. All these people flit in and out and offer little moments of laughter, frivolity, friendliness...

We have come to know others so much better, finding out more and more about each other, and so setting our friendships more firmly. We have shared joyous moments of childbirth, christenings, promotions,newfound directions; and we have held hands through job losses, accidents, depression and sad departings.

Our year ahead is not going to be smooth sailing. Mr A. and I are again faced with huge challenges and some tough decisions. But I trust in our partnership that we will continue to grow and succeed. That we will continue to unveil new delights together. That our daughter will continue to be such a driving force in our lives.

I continue to work hard on my spirit. I have shrivelled under criticism for my flakiness, and being overcome by my emotions. But I now accept who I am. I accept my depression and work very hard to look after my soul. I have learnt (the hard way) that if I don't look after me, how can I possibly offer my best sunshiney bits to those around me? I love being in my third decade. I think I am finally coming into my own, and I love me. At times I get bogged down and turn into a mad-woman, but this process of life is all about teaching and growing, and I try hard to do both.

I am not going to make any resolutions per se, but rather continue forward as I mean to. Continue to nurture my creativeness, my sewing. Continue to help my child get ready for school in every way I can. And be aware to be more mindful. Mindful of those around me, as well as the bigger picture. I am just one of millions.

To those who ride along with me, I am thankful. You are blessed in my life. I wish you all a spectacular New Years, and a joyous, peaceful and loved entry into 2010.

to be or not to be....that is the question

Mr A. and I have been thinking that it was high time Mouse had a baby sibling. We have tossed the idea around for a while (over a year) but what, between being about as broody as a rock and Mr A. travelling the Eastern globe...our timing just was a bit off. Taryn helped me so much when I was pregnant with Scout. She helped both my ever-expanding body, and my ever-expanding soul. There is nothing on this earth like the love a mother has for her child, or at that time, unborn child. Taryn feels the mind, body and soul must be aligned and engaged for parenthood. I completely agree. But now here lies my predicament : Mr A. is about to head off again, so we are kinda pressured; and my mind, body and soul are so not engaged. Each is spinning off in it's own solar system and I just can't seem to pull them together. I do believe that our baby will come when it is ready, and after a nail-biting first month I realised that I have no choice but to take a breath and relax, and wait.... But waiting is so frustrating, and I know it is affecting me more that I realise. I don't like that I can't control this.

If Taryn were sitting here next to me, I know what she would say. So I take her words to my heart, and take her thoughts to my soul. Our baby will come, and in the meantime I have so much to start on. There are quite a few new beginnings for our little family....and hey, change is as good as a holiday!!!

Scout, age 9 months

facebook is marmite

So we all rushed to get a Facebook account - so exciting! Lots of school friends to find - ooh! Look at him now, still so hot...argh she is still as skinny and beautiful with 2.5 kids, a hot hubby and a white picket fence......Yes, I am being truthful when I say those were my thoughts upon seeing some profiles ( but I think that we all did that a bit - human nature me thinks?)
Then it became this thing of gathering friends - ooh who is she friends with? I vaguely know him , we met once, therefore I MUST send a friend request....ooh, who has requested me? We lived in the same town? Good enough, accept friend!
Then it became an accepted forum to announce births, deaths and marriages....I know the act of writing a letter went out with the ice-age, but even Alexander Graham Bell is turning in his grave that we don't even pick up the phone anymore...

Now what I am saying is MY opinion. I think it is lovely to share photos of your child with friends etc, and I do enjoy looking at how my friends babies are growing, or which party they went to, and it is kinda cool since being in the arse end of nowhere (which I LOVE by the way) , to keep up with the comings and goings of all our friends in London. And I know life is SO SO busy that having something like Facebook makes it easy to send a quick hello, or like, or comment. But special things still deserve at least a phonecall right?

The last straw for me came when one of Mr A.'s friends sent me a friend request. I have met her once nearly ten years ago, and am very correct in remembering that she did not even like me....so why would I want to be your friend? And why do you want to be mine? Mr A. and I had a huge debate about this, and how rude it is or not to decline her request...but regardless of which side of the table you stand, it spurred me to prune my Facebook friends......by half! I made the decision to keep the friends who do phone, or we do see, or I have spoken to in say the last five years!?! It was wonderfully cathartic, and the right choice for me. I don't get how Mr A. with his gazillion friends can possibly keep track of them all - who's doing what, with whom, and where? I am perfectly happy with my 60-odd friends, I can stalk them with complete ease.


But since then another issue has arisen : How much should one rant on Facebook? If you have had a hard day and perhaps your judgement is slightly skewed, should you write something that can come back and bite you in the arse? The scary thing is that you can know someone who isn't even on Facebook, or hardly logs on but they suddenly know all about it....your status update becomes a talking point ( I refrain from saying gossip,as I like to think my friends are better than that)
A friend, after having a hard few weeks had a little rant, and it caused more than a ripple in our little circle. Now me being me, do not learn from this and just a few days later step on my own landmine. I had a REALLY crappy day, and wrote my opinion on boys - I am not overly fond of them. But I guess without knowing the background it does come across harshly. Now, don't get me wrong, there are boys in my life I adore - My nephew being trumps, but I love my friends' boys, I am emotionally invested in them. But, (she says teetering on knife-edge) some boys really give the gender a bad name. I am being honest in saying I am just not a boy kinda girl. So, to all my friends who drew in a collective gasp when you read my status: the odds are definitely in your favour that I really DO like your little boy, please realise that I did have a little rant, and if you were to phone me to call me up on it, I can give you the background, apologise and then have a good old chinwag!

I keep on thinking perhaps I should just deactivate my account - I have another friend who did that...she agrees with me that we have lost our touch to an electronic forum so withdrew her account for a while. The result? Her phone rang off the hook, and emails flooded her inbox - she really caught up with her friends good and proper. The way it should be perhaps? I don't know, this is just me and these are just my thoughts, and so far, the only conclusion I have reached is this:

Facebook is Marmite - you either love it or hate it!

when it all goes awry...

Sometimes life just gets far too busy, and sometimes I lose myself in the chaos of it all.

I think when things are so topsy-turvy it is difficult to know which way is the right way forward. I seem to develop nappy-brains, clumsiness on a par with Mr Wobbly-Man, and the patience of a pack of wild dogs at a carcass.....

So I stopped. I took a huge breath. I realised I had forgotten who I was. I am still wondering a bit about it all, but I feel I have more direction, and more focus....(slightly ;-) )

I have a few wishes in life. One is to be the best mom I can be. I talk to other moms around me, and my sister (she is a GREAT mom, and dispenses the BEST advice EVER!), I find out what works for them and what woes them. Funny how all our woes are all so similar....

I wish to be the best wife I can be. I want to complete my husband. He is my best friend and a soulmate. I am thankful for him.

I wish to be true to myself, to not be bogged down by negative thoughts and actions. To rise above those who try and hurt me.

In all my thinking I reach this conclusion:

I am me, I am a warrior.

I trust in my husband.

I am ready to be a mom again.

mY jOY:

Our gorgeous, beautiful daughter.

In love with my friend

I made something SO cute today......if you like frilly...and a little bit of country and western......mmmm....will post photos tomorrow!

mY jOY:

I am so so proud of my darling friend Sue. She has had this epiphany and has really started seeing the brighter side of life. Sometimes we need to be reminded by those we love so much, that there is no point being all poo, but that we need to embrace ourselves and our lives. She has really put herself in the right track emotionally, she has quashed that demonic inner voice of self doubt and self loathing. We all need to do that. I have forgotten to look after my soul without even realising it.
What do I have to celebrate in my life?
A healthy child and husband.
A gorgeous home and food on the table every night.
Being able to sew beautiful things - expressing myself creatively.
My family, and even with half a world between us, still being close to them.
My friends - cherishing those I have and making new ones. Learning and growing from them.
The simple things - a freshly baked cake, roses, a spiderweb covered in dew...delights in life.

An observation after a conversation with my sister...

Wildebeests' have ticks on their bums.

(and she knows, as she has just been on safari)

I found a tick on my bum.

Therefore, am I a Wildebeest?

Not such a great thought, therefore will stop talking....and go and admire my horns...

(photo courtesy of parks-sa.co.za)