I would rather be...

MY TO-DO LIST FOR THE DAY...

...AND THE LAUNDRY....

...BUT I WOULD RATHER BE DELVING INTO THIS BOOK....

ESPECIALLY AS I HAVE A VERY VALID REASON TO BE MAKING 'SMALL' STUFF!

hi ho the derri oh to London we will go

so we went to London...our trip started out well. We went from Devon, through Somerset, and upon reaching Wiltshire were redirected back into Somerset. Thanks to our diversion ( an extra HOUR of driving!!) I can feel qualified to give guided tours of Somerset. Although I can say, irritation aside (stuck behind lorries on single track roads) that it is a very picturesque county. I was very grateful Mouse was asleep, and that we had blue sky and sunshine to make it look very pretty. to say our weekend was jampacked would be an understatement....so many friends to catch up with, and throw in a babyshower and kiddies party for good measure...but it was all good....even with a ferocious cold. Mouse gets a dribbly nose for like a day, I get thumping head-aches, blocked sinuses, and a night-time cough that sounds like a locomotive chugging down the track for like a month! it sucks.
as much as being with everyone in London just fed my soul, I am very pleased to be lying in my bed this morning. today I plan on doing nothing...apart from going to the pharmacy - i left my medicine chest behind at Kate's house - what a dumbass! forget shampoo, or some socks, even one of Mouse's toys...but why?why?why? did I go and forget the vital mutis?

ps on another note my wayward husband returns at some god-forsaken hour tonight.
I think I need to warn him now what he is returning to...poor man!
(although I am thinking that seeing the gorgeous man will be all the tonic I need and I shall suddenly and miraculously be healed)

pps i have fallen in love with Luke.....but fear not he is not even one yet, and when I get some photos emailed to me I will post one of this gorgeous baba.

my love month has been hijacked...

.....by rain. Rain, rain, rain, rain and just a little more rain!

AND it is half term..........

ARGH!!! I need some sunshine and blue sky...but hot sunshine, like tropical sunshine.

Mr. A....please take me on holiday!!!

"Ag no!"* I said when looking down this morning. ( *South African slang when in disbelief)

I don't want to get out of bed. In fact I have already. I showered, put on a touch of make up , a pretty dress, and took Mouse to nursery. Then went to get Miss Phoebs - my charge for the day - but she REALLY looked unwell, so is gonna stay home with her Mama. Can I just say, she looks how I feel! So what to do? Come home and continue with my marathon clean? Get some paperwork sorted? Climb back into bed and continue to feel precious after trying very hard not to? Yip. I am in bed with a BIG cuppa coffee. I am feeling SO miserable. And dammit it is my favourite time of year. My best friend is back from holiday today so we can have a huge chin-wag later. I only have one more working day of the year, and next year is a whole new big working adventure for me. Correction, just checked incoming text message.....friend only back tomorrow...*sob*.....The sun is streaming into our house and the sky is crystal blue. All these reasons to be happy and jolly and get up and grab the day....But still I just want to stay here. And I know why. The logic in my brain is giving myself a talking to in the corner, but it cannot over-ride my heart.....still no baby and we have one more try before Mr A. is away for three months definitely, then maybe another three after that.....which pushes the babymaking back six...SIX...whole months!!!!!!!!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH! I have been doing some research and am staggered how anyone gets pregnant.....those poor little sperm have so much up against them before they even reach the egg - poor guys! Then the egg has a mission staying around and actually turning into a baby! I now really do believe that each baby is a miracle! Mr A. gave me such a big hug and told me our baby will come when it is ready, and I trust him and believe him. But just for now, just for a little while, I want to be a bit precious about it....at least until Mouse gets home from nursery!

bloggy blues and froupy-frit-frat

The last time I was blue, I went blogging.
I went hop, skippity, jump from one blog to the next.
Reading bits and pieces from other people's lives.
Last night I found the MOTHER OF ALL BLOGS...
and this mother had me in hysterics.
I wish I could copy and paste her entire blog.....
BUT that is against bloggy etiquette...
so if you have the time head over here:
http://mammatalk.blogspot.com/2008/11/froupy-frit-frat.html
It is just one of Mammatalk's posts, but I really enjoyed the froupy-frit-frat because as some of you know....I inadvertently taught Scout the word sh*t when she was just getting her mouth around words! ha ha, we live and learn!

mY jOY:
Back to normal routine.....SIGH!
I really don't do well out of routine...
Gina Ford Mommy I am, I am!
PS: Head down to the bottom of my blog for a little youtube fun...and I dare you not to shed a memory-lane tear!

a worse than poo day

so I went here
and first I laughed
then I started crying....happy crying....
then I started sobbing....
I mean all out howling.

I have had such a stinker of a day.
I feel like rubbish.....
fishyard rubbish.....
that has been in the sun ALL day.....
but not English sun.....
no,no,no,no,no.....
Equatorial, super-tropical sun....
AND.......
this was after I went to the doctor and got some super-duper-hayfever-busting-meds....
And....dragged poor Eliza with me.....
only to realize two hours later that....
the little munchkin had a raging 40.5 degree temp.....
her mom and dad had to take her to hospital.......=tonsilitis
AND......
Mouse pushed all my buttons, and whinged and whined all....
BUT I MEAN ALL
afternoon and evening.....
and wouldn't eat
and made a huge mess in the bathroom
and
and
and
and I have never been so happy to see the clock strike bedtime!!
I have had such a complete sucky day, not even my favourite poo adjective is enough to let you know I have had the worst, worst day ever, and I just want my husband home and he still has four months to go and this is so flipping hard and I just want a hug....from anyone.

Mr A. .......come home.....

I am not going to lie...I am sad, very sad.
I really feel incomplete.
I miss my husband.

I think ...and quite a few others too...that we are an odd combination.
Mr A. is cool, relaxed ( to an almost horizontal position ), cheerful, funny and will give ANYONE the time of day. We have known each other almost a decade and I still don't know anyone who doesn't like him. He is one of those people who can make you feel so at ease in his company.
I, on the other hand, am fiesty, opinionated, passionate, stubborn and slightly OTT. I don't make friends easily, but when I do, you are stuck with me like a barnacle on a whale.
This combination leads us to argue...alot...but we also laugh...alot.
We learn so much from each other, and it has been a very bumpy road to get to where we are now. I have no doubt that there are many, many more bumps ahead but we have, in our own way, figured out how to smooth them down.

We met young, and have grown up together. Funnily enough, some of our biggest critics have become our biggest supporters. In our funny little life, we have made it work. And I love him so much I sometimes think my heart might break.

I miss his laugh the most, he has this laugh that comes from deep within him, and when I hear it my heart sings a little because he is, for that moment, a very happy man. He laughed like that today, when Scout sang Twinkle Twinkle down the phone to him. I was lifted to cloud nine.
I have never believed in that whole 'there is one guy for every girl, perfect match melarky' - I believe in soul mates, and that in our lives, if we are super-lucky we might find more than one. Soul mates are those kindred spirits who become intimately emeshed into your soul. My sister is my soul mate, and Adam is my soul mate.

I miss my soul mate.

HMS Bulwark leaving Plymouth.

And finally out to sea....

Today is gloomy, grey and reflective of how I feel.

There were other families standing near me, waving off their dads, husbands and sons.

I was not alone, but being a bootneck wife you are never alone - they are a big family.

So many calls have come in during the last 24 hours, I love you all and am so grateful.

On the news yet another soldier has been killed in action, so I lift my chin, pray for his family and am thankful that Adam is not off to war.

My Joy:

Simple.....my husband.

I leave my words to Mr John Denver

All my bags are packed

Im ready to go

Im standin here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin

Its early morn

The taxis waitin

Hes blowin his horn

Already Im so lonesome

I could die

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that youll wait for me

Hold me like youll never let me go

cause Im leavin on a jet plane

Dont know when Ill be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down

So many times Ive played around

I tell you now, they dont mean a thing

Evry place I go, Ill think of you

Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you

When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that youll wait for me

Hold me like youll never let me go

cause Im leavin on a jet plane

Dont know when Ill be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time

Let me kiss you

Then close your eyes

Ill be on my way

Dream about the days to come

When I wont have to leave alone

About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that youll wait for me

Hold me like youll never let me go

cause Im leavin on a jet plane

Dont know when Ill be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane

Dont know when Ill be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

Words and music by john denver

handbag mysteries

I have a label that says "the Blues". It is not referring to some secret jazz playing male siblings who live under my bed,... it refers to when I write a post that is a little sad. So I am going to say now that for the next week or so every post is probably going to be labelled "the Blues"- again I am not full of music....but full of tears!

So today, whilst little munchkin was joyfully making blue, loo-roll binoculars at nursery school...(yes, they look fabulous hanging around her neck on their red wool strap!) Mr A. and I used the morning to get bits and pieces done before he sets sail.

One of those jobs included sorting out his bicycle. So there I am at the shop, oblivious to all the beautiful bikes, when the co-owner comes over to tell me how lovely Adam is -....oh you think going to bicycle shops is say a monthly occurance?!?ha ha...Mr A. has his own designated parking spot!!!!! Well these sweet words just broke the dam wall. Now here is this lovely lady, just coming over to chat as I do look a bit bored and spaced out whilst Mr A. talks sprockets and cogs and gears and lycra and speed and transition - it is a bike: two wheels+ two peddles+ one saddle+ peddling=forward motion..not rocket science. I digress. So, Julia just thinks she is being nice to entertain the wife as husband spends dosh....but oh no...she picked me...she was NICE to me...and what does she get for her trouble? Floods of frickin tears. So here I am hiding behind the display as I don't want Mr A. to see me crying, trying to find a tissue in my oversized bag - really what is the point in a oversized, slouchy, designer handbag when you are having a melt-down and need tissues like now! No, I don't need my sunglasses, car keys, house keys, lipstick, diary, lego, pony ( a small plastic one, although a Dartmoor pony may just fit ), coins, spare pair of Scout's knickers, nappy sack, wallet, scrap of paper, leggings...again Scout's not mine, ipod, cream..crumbs anytime soon the blooming kitchen sink is going to pop out and ALL I NEED IS A BLOODY TISSUE!!!! Well Julia wasn't really sure which course of action to take...does she try and comfort this mad woman? or does she make a speedy exit? Fortunately for me, she exited, then swiftly returned with the vital box of tissues. I think half of them have now joined the sunglasses, car keys, house keys, lipstick, diary, lego, pony, coins, knickers, nappy sack, wallet, scrap paper, leggings, ipod, cream and the kitchen sink in my bag....so if you are ever out and need a tissue ( or you perhaps have some dirty dishes to wash or a bit of hay for a pony ) just head my way! Poor Mr A. he really picked himself a beauty when he married me....

My Joy:

Finished making my first teddy today...it may not look like one, but Scout loves it and it joined Sam, More Sam and Squirt in bed tonight! Hence I cannot photo it without waking the precious sleeping child, so you will have to wait until tomorrow!

A sad,bad day

Today I found out , care of my bloggie buddy Wendy, that little Tuesday has passed away. Please click on the link photo in my sidebar and read about this amazing family.

I am so humbled by their grace in this very sad time, and wish that we too could have a "wagie ride".

Now, why is today bad?

We went out for a pub lunch - and in these economic times it is a huge treat! But in the pub was a middle-aged battle axe ( I am truly sorry for the slur but that is as about polite as Adam and I can be ) , who got so huffy and puffy about the noise Scout was making. A few points:

1. It is advertised as a FAMILY PUB - what do you expect?

2. Scout wasn't being that noisy, for those who know her she was making her "MMMMMMMMMM" noise as she ate her Yorkshire Pudding.

3. It is INCREDIBLY rude to ignore people when they apologise to you, as their child is making a 'noise' so you felt you had to move tables.

The only concession I will make, is perhaps Scout was a bit loud when she came running into the dining-room after doing a wee with her Dad and announcing it to everyone.......she is potty training and this was her first proper outing in big-girl knickers, so as far as I am concerned she can shout it from the rooftop and we will all do her little "wee wee in the potty" dance!!!!!

I am sorry we ruined her lunch, but Intolerant Lady....you ruined ours too!!!!

Views of Dartmoor:

Can you spot the Navy boys? They arrived at our pub looking like little icicles....well it was -2 celsius!!!!

mY jOY:

Regardless of grumpy old ladies, I am so proud of our daughter. She may be fiesty and stubborn and noisy, but she is kind and loving and sweet. And she is whole - I cannot imagine the pain Tuesday's mom Jessica must be feeling right now, but her story reminds us to say a prayer every night that our family is tucked up safely in their beds.

Recent Mouse and Noli conversation:

Me: Mouse you are drawing beautifully

No Response

Me: Scout look at me

Head Turns

Me: That is a beautiful picture my love, well done!

Scout-mouse : No problem Mom.

We got the news I had been dreading, it had been lurking in the background, but I have been trying not to think about it, as I have learnt with Mr. A's job that things change at the last second ALL the time. But today, he was called in by his Superior, and yes, he is off for 6 months. Not to war, thank the Lord, but on a ship based exercise heading East. We aren't sure he will be able to come home at all during that time which is kinda sucky.....how do I feel? Perhaps Snow Patrol can help.......

"Chasing Cars"

We'll do it all

Everything

On our own

We don't need

Anything

Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Today it is raining. Jack frost has lost his grip...so long buddy, don't let the door slam you on the butt on your way out!!! ( can you tell I am not a fan of Frosty?) So, it is nine and a half degrees and all I want to to cuddle in bed with my little girl, drinking Milo and reading stories, and sing - we , well Scout, has just started singing, and it is too edible for words! BUT what is stopping this grand plan......

1. A motherload of laundry, including bed linen...bit difficult to snuggle with no sheets.

2. Soup to cook, and meatballs to make.

3. House to clean after VERY muddy weekend.

4. Groceries to put away...I HATE the putting away of the things.....any things you can think of .....dishes, ironed laundry, groceries, garden tools, toys, stuff, stuff, STUFF!!!!!!!!

5. And perhaps the most important one here.....Scout is at nursery......oh poo!

My JOY:

Convincing myself that being lazy is okay and I don't have to go for a run today...okay so I have been so incredibly slack of late and only went for two runs last week and my brother-in-law keeps on waiting for my running log to help me train for my 20 mile run ( GULP), but I can't send it to him as I am too ashamed. Now I am going to have to go put on my running gear and go for a blasted run in the rain....oh poo!

Tonsils and Chelsea Buns

I have been a bit under the weather - caught Scout's stuffy nose! I have also reached the conclusion at thirty years of age....that at some point I may go after my tonsils with a butter knife! THEY are such a PAIN......Literally!

However, my darling Mr. A has been very kind and this morning before cycling off to do swimming training...at 6:15am no less....he had dressed Scout and put the laundry on.......what a champ!

Scout and I went over the bridge today to Saltash, and did some Christmas shopping in a GORGEOUS little boutique called ADORN - hint hint Mr. A!

My Joy:

Just down the road from Adorn is a teeny tiny bakery, and there in the window for all to see...were CHELSEA BUNS! oh sweet rapture, it's like heaven on earth. After sinking my teeth into one as quickly as possible ,I sighed the sigh of a woman completely contented.

Yesterday I tripped......and fell.....HARD!
I was running to the car in the rain. I had an important document to deliver.
I tripped, I fell, I grazed my hands and knee.
I was muddy.
I cried.
I have newfound compassion for my darling child who trips an average of 5 times a day.

Yesterday was one of those days when you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, when your bed looks like a safe place and all bets are off.

Yesterday was about looking at my future and weighing up the odds. This dialogue came to mind:

The contest is a lion fight.
So chin up, put your shoulder’s back, walk proud…strut a little.
Don’t lick your wounds - celebrate them.
The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor.
You are in a lion fight and just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar.

Adam's brother, lovely sister-in-law and nephew, Nathan, have arrived in Ireland to begin their own very big adventure! Hugs and Kisses to you all XXXXXXXXXXXX

My Joy:
I ran 10 kilometers this morning - yip, that's it 10!
My husband rode the bike with Scout-Mouse strapped in her seat, wrapped up in a blanket.
The sky was an azure blue and the sunshine blessed us.
I am a hero!

Rainy day Blues

This morning it looked like THIS:








SO we did THIS:








And THIS:




And THIS:

my JOy:

This morning my beloved husband had to be up really early for work,

so when the alarm went off I snuggled deeper into our duvet, ( I LOVE OUR DUVET!).....and when it was time for Mr. Adam to leave, he left a

trail of

butterfly

kisses

down my neck

and onto my shoulder..............sigh! what Bliss