"Ag no!"* I said when looking down this morning. ( *South African slang when in disbelief)

I don't want to get out of bed. In fact I have already. I showered, put on a touch of make up , a pretty dress, and took Mouse to nursery. Then went to get Miss Phoebs - my charge for the day - but she REALLY looked unwell, so is gonna stay home with her Mama. Can I just say, she looks how I feel! So what to do? Come home and continue with my marathon clean? Get some paperwork sorted? Climb back into bed and continue to feel precious after trying very hard not to? Yip. I am in bed with a BIG cuppa coffee. I am feeling SO miserable. And dammit it is my favourite time of year. My best friend is back from holiday today so we can have a huge chin-wag later. I only have one more working day of the year, and next year is a whole new big working adventure for me. Correction, just checked incoming text message.....friend only back tomorrow...*sob*.....The sun is streaming into our house and the sky is crystal blue. All these reasons to be happy and jolly and get up and grab the day....But still I just want to stay here. And I know why. The logic in my brain is giving myself a talking to in the corner, but it cannot over-ride my heart.....still no baby and we have one more try before Mr A. is away for three months definitely, then maybe another three after that.....which pushes the babymaking back six...SIX...whole months!!!!!!!!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH! I have been doing some research and am staggered how anyone gets pregnant.....those poor little sperm have so much up against them before they even reach the egg - poor guys! Then the egg has a mission staying around and actually turning into a baby! I now really do believe that each baby is a miracle! Mr A. gave me such a big hug and told me our baby will come when it is ready, and I trust him and believe him. But just for now, just for a little while, I want to be a bit precious about it....at least until Mouse gets home from nursery!